Nature is throwing up fresh challenges for humankind to conquer, contain, or adapt to. We are all collectively trying to wrap our heads around what actually is going on as governments try to keep people clam (to varying degrees of success) and doctors, researchers, and scientists try to make sense of the available data. After having lived decades with questions answered with near immediacy, this uncertainty is palpable and dangerous, just like the virus that has caused it.
Though not in many of our lifetimes, we as humankind have been here before. We have been here with less ability, less tools, less civility and we are still here. There were losses then. There will be losses now. Death is the unfortunate consequence of life and I worry that we have been so successfully at keeping the reaper away, that we have forgotten that inevitability. We will push back the scythe again, but loved ones will fall before we do. This is the cold reality of life in which we live, but it is not the only truth.
Death is just the backdrop to life. As humankind, we can only process so much information at a time. If we are shown something amazing consistently it loses its ability to amaze. The delightful and wondrous can quickly slip into the background as we use our limited processing power to worry about future risks. Death can keep us honest. Spring flowers are not permanent. Few would argue that a tulip is tedious and boring, its the harbinger of life and growth. A tulips bloom is temporary, like us all. It is magical, like us all. It’s very existence is wondrous, just like the chances to you being born is 1 to 400 trillion or more. If it was here forever we would forget about it and let it collect dust. We would be distracted by work emails, popularity contests, and fear of unknowable futures. Just like a tulip, human life is beautiful, wondrous, mysterious, improbable, fragile…and temporary.
Knowing that something is temporary forces it to the front of our collective minds. It becomes important because our engagement with it is limited by time. Time is the only commodity that we all collectively own. Life forces us to be aware of time but we often try to ignore it. Mothers know time best. They carry new life for 9 months, a massive investment of time that is full of unbelievable risk, and deliver a helpless baby. Then as the mini human grows, it will require at least 18 years of time invested before it can stumble off on it’s own…its not an inexpensive investment, yet people do it every day. Parents know what time is worth. So do those who are running out of time, the elderly and the ill. Time isn’t a construct of governments like currency, it is a biological and cosmic commodity. As we are all temporary beings, our store of time currency is limited and finite. We should be sure to spend it wisely.
How should we as humans spend our time? This isn’t a new question. Humanity has been trying to figure this one out as soon as survival wasn’t the full focus of our time. Ancient humanity had to live in the present or fail. As we became more comfortable and safe, we collectively began to tell our stories about how we spent our time. The value of those stories was that it allowed others to learn from our spent time and keep their time in reserve. The storyteller and teacher save us from having to spend time to learn something on our own. The past is an unchangeable record, a ledger book, of how our time was spent and what was learned. Now we at last knew where the time went and if we spent it well! Along side this development of history, humans started to see patterns in the world around them. These patterns were important and let us prepare for what was coming. The movement of stars/planets and the migration of animals let us understand that winter was coming and we should be ready. We could now see the future to a certain respect. We could plan how time should be spent.
As civilization got more stable, the present became easier and we started to use our limited brain space for the past and the future. The easier the present, the easier it is to allow it to fade into the background. We start to be upset by past failures and misdeeds, just as we start to worry and prepare for future challenges. Ask someone who was homeless if they worried about global issues more or less than where their next meal was going to come from. Being hungry might be the best way to understand why the present is important. The past tells us where we got food from but it can’t feed us. The future could tell us what our next meal might be. Only the present can feed us.
Currently we are again in the fight against the unknown, just like our ancient predecessors. The SARS-CoV-2 or COVID-19 has arrived and we are desperately struggling to understand it, so we can control it or stop it from truncating our time on this planet. The majority of us do not understand how epidemiological models work, we do not know how virus mutate. This virus has taken a knowable future and turned it on it’s head. Loved ones are now dead. Planned trips are now canceled. It would seem we are helpless to do anything, but we have been here before, the past has a record of it. How we spend our time in the present matters. Listen to the experts and act.
We are faced with a challenge to our survival and should act just as our ancestors before did, focus on the present. Focus on the present where you have choice and agency. Wash your hands, stop touching your face, socially distance yourself, be generous with your wealth if you can, and be frugal if you can not. Most of all be patient and kind with humanity. If we can all do these things we will buy time to those who can act for us against the unknown. We buy time, with our own, for the nurses, doctors, researchers, and scientists that will act for us with their expertise and talent. They have paid great amounts of their time to become experts in their respective fields. We should sit at the feet of these giants, not silent but supportive, active, present and strong.
One enemy that we face along with the virus, blame. It is easy to be angry. Someone should have done something differently, someone should be to blame. Our culture, especially in the United States, has been sliding into the safety of finding an “other” to blame for all our misfortunes. This downward slide can be directly linked to the increasing complexity of world, once small, now global. History tells us that the “other” allowed slavery to flourish, Jews to be murdered, and cities to be bombed. The “other” is not created by information but through implication, false causality and over-simplification. It is the easy path, it is not a path of reason. When we are losing the ones we love, it is the easiest path.
Before you go down the path of blame ask yourself these questions:
- Can I change the past?
- I can answer this one for you…No, you can not.
- Do I have the luxury of time to dwell in the past and rage against the decisions others have made?
- I would argue that since you can’t change the past, knowing the decisions made by others is the only thing that is valuable here. You can learn from their decisions but time spent dwelling on them could be better spent on the present where you have agency and choice.
- Do I have the same or more information to make better decisions than the experts that are making, or have made decisions for me?
- Be brutally honest with yourself here. Speaking for myself the answer is no, anything else would be a lie. I can pretend that I’m C. Auguste Dupin and I can solve anything from the news but this would be false. I’m not a fictions French detective or an epidemiologist. If you are, fantastic, how can I help. If you are not, stop your armchair speculation, wash your hands, don’t touch your face, and socially distance yourself. Also try to understand that with all things new, the information will change as the experts learn what is going on. Science isn’t by committee or popularity, its through rigour and observation. Science is a process that will be in flux until truth is exposed.
- Will my placing of the blame or raging make this situation better?
- Again I can answer this one…No, it will not. If you want to scream at the top of your lungs out of a window, go ahead. Want to have a good cry, that sounds good too. Both of those can have cathartic results that offer some temporary biological benefits. Spending your time on the present though, that is where you can make things better. Taking action, a run, calling a loved one, reading a book, all will pull you away from wasted time bent on unfruitful anger. Get up and do something positive for yourself or someone else…that will make things better for certain.
Our next enemy of the present is anxiety. We have learned to plan for so much of the future, we should be able to plan what is to be done next. Our leaders and experts should comfort us and give us a plan. When they do not or can not offer us a plan or comfort we start to feel existential dread. We can’t foresee the future anymore, we can not plan, freedom and responsibility of choice become an unbearable burden This path is dark and unknowable, how can I protect those I love? Fear can leave us unable to move, paralyzed in the present.
Before you are ensnared by anxiety ask yourself these questions:
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- Has anyone in the past been in this situation before, and have they survived?
- You are in luck, humanity has been here before. We have survived in circumstances far more dire and with less resources available. Don’t limit yourself to just the US. Look around the world at how many times civilizations have been driven to the brink and they bounced back. If they could do it we can do it. We have driven some diseases to near extinction, we can do that again.
- Have you had a plan for everything in your life?
- Maybe, but most likely not. There are some that may make a plan for everything, but remember that a plan doesn’t guarantee an outcome. Outcomes are something unknowable. We can attempt to control outcomes but the chaos of the universe is always there. No matter how much you plan you can not eliminate all risk. Living in the present means that we accept a certain amount of risk and minimize what we can. In the world in which we live we can only do what the experts tell us to do; wash your hands, don’t touch your face, and socially distance yourself.
- Can you tell the future?
- I got this one for you…No. Though you might of been able to guess my answer there, I promise you are not a psychic. If you can’t see the future, why are you worrying about it? In the present, you are reading this answer, and you can actively take part in how you think this information is relevant to your experience. You are living in the present and you have agency and choice. Make choices and use your freewill with the challenges that face you right now. Deal with the future when it becomes the present.
- Does my worrying about the future make this situation better?
- I’m confident in answering this one for you…No. You have a finite amount of bandwidth in your brain. There are no current systems for upgrading that set of resources, so don’t waste those precious resources on something that you can not alter. Don’t beat yourself up on this one too much. You are most likely here because your ancient ancestors were worried about tigers eating them. That anxiety was based off of a tangible danger. Tigers were real…tigers ate your ancestors siblings. Focus on real immediate risks that you can make changes to prevent when survival is at stake. In the current situation there is only one choice; wash your hands, don’t touch your face, and socially distance yourself. Everything else is currently unknowable, but the good news is it will eventually be known. Experts from around the world are working on it. Support them.
- Has anyone in the past been in this situation before, and have they survived?
Our strength as humankind is only in the present. Be here, now, more than ever. One way to bolster your fight to be present is to be grateful. Give thanks for all the moments of random change that have gone your way; your birth, your successes, your children, your pets, your friends and family, your partner, the doctors and nurses that cured you in the past, the farmers that grow your food, the truck drivers that brought your food across the country, the people stocking your shelves, the mental heath professionals answering phones, the technologists working to connect us all remotely, the tireless hospital workers, the government workers trying to get you aid, the researchers and epidemiologists working to put an end to this pandemic, the list can go on and on. The more you think about it the more wonderful and beautiful the world is. Nations cease to matter. There are people you have never met making sacrifices that may shorten their finite time on this planet. You will never know their names. They are the humanity that lifts us all up. Be grateful for them now in the present.
If you do this, you will find it harder and harder to be anxious and angry. It is not the easy path. It will take time, but remember those who are spending their own time for you and you will find the discipline to change. Don’t be too hard on yourself either, its not a failing to reach out to someone for help. You will be surprised at how many people will reach out to help you if you only ask. I am always surprised, I am propped up by an army of people. I hope I can reach you and prop you up too! I am on your side. Humanity is on your side.
I created this blog to share what I have learned from my failures, which are many. Hoping that you can learn from them along with me. Maybe I can save some of your time or someone you love’s time.
I didn’t get here the easy way. I was constantly focused on the future, driven to get to what was next and never celebrating the present. A brain cyst forced me to reflect and be faced with my own mortality. I have never been more scared in my life. I sobbed by myself in my house alone. I had to accept that my 42 years on this earth were good ones and maybe I was out of time. Doctors are miracle workers and after five hours of surgery I woke up. I was so grateful to see my wife, and my parents, and my doctor. It felt so good to be alive, and free of the headaches from the cyst. I was swimming in gratitude. It was a long recovery, though some have longer. While recovering I started to realize I’d been living in the future instead of the present. I was a fool. I am grateful everyday now. The present is amazing. I will continue to wreck things, rebuild them and then try again…it is how I learn but I will not be that fool ever again. Take it from a former fool, the present is quite literally… a gift.